Vexed

Feeling vexed recently. Mostly because of work. Just need to cool myself down against pressure. Especially remarks from above management. Is time to put a stop and ignore if possible. Sometimes I ask myself why do I need to care. Everything talk with result. If I can handle then why bother. Need is both ways anyway. I need the job and money that why im there. They need me that why Im still there. 😆 

Also because of the busy schedule and recent drama I totally neglected about my court case tomorrow which is a good thing. Make me just cant be bothered with the case result tomorrow. Money and happiness is more important now. As long as some idiot dont come and waste my time. Furthermore, hopefully he knows to stay in line and dont bother me after this. But i know also that stupid ppl likes to challenge until they regret when they get the karma. No matter how long it takes as long as it interfere with my happiness, i will just keep the case going. 

Sometimes growing up being too independent has it's flaws. Because you knew you cant depend on anyone other than yourself. And this cognition cost more pressure than any other thing. I hate having debts. And debts seems to be inevitable staying in sg. Either drop the lifestyle or fall into debt. This tough decision keeps repeating in life. Ppl thinks that you are sacrificing time for money. But in actual u are sacrificing freedom and lifestyle for money. And then again u need money for freedom and lifestyle. So contradicting. 

Without money u cant decide to leave or stay, because u need to stay for the money. Without money u cannot decide the lifestyle that u want. But u need to sacrifice certain lifestyle for money. Thinking too way ahead has it's flaw which is why they say dont focus too much on big win. Focus on small win and eventually u will get the big win. 

Small win are reducing stress, staying happy, sleeping well, eating well and being healthy. For now I dont want get myself too stress over relationships. Worrying too much about how to manage relationships make me even more stress to do any other important goals. So I need to stop worrying about any sort of relationships. Be it work, partner or parents. 

Every relationship must have trust and the thing about trust is, it is the hardest to maintain based on my experience. Why do I say maintain instead of give? If a person dont trust u, u dont even have an opportunity to be talking or be even beside that person. To work together, to be friends, to love etc all requires trust first. Why do u select this person? Because u trust and see their capability. However ppl dont feel that way. 

Ppl dont appreciate when u trust them and when they neglected or misuse it, u make the decision to take the trust back. After u take it back then they start complaining how u dont trust them. Sometimes when u feel a person dont trust u, ask yourself what did u do to lose that person's trust. Dont ask the person why you dont trust me. Because every relationship started with trust. U have their trust once but what did u do with that trust to eventually lose it?