Anger mgmt

Last sun i was super annoyed with my mum. Still the same anger and temper prob. When can she grow up and learn to control her emotions? Always negative always angry like the hulk. Always full of complaints. 

I ask if she is home. Say will bring my girl over. When i reach there i told her that my girl wants to ride on the bicycle. She say the seat was taken out. I feel annoyed why does she keep taking the bike seat out for. Then she tell me a very stupid reason. Put outside a lot of dust. Wtf. Same as usual. 

I took the seat out and started trying to fix it on the bike. While i do it she ask if i needed help. I said yes. So she came over and help me. She was faster than me so she started take over my side. I went in to wash my hands also thinking u dont need 2 person to do one thing. She started screaming and shouting like a crazy woman. 

I said i am washing my hands. Then when i went out she was talking to the neighbour. I stood there for a while and went to sit on the sofa. Once she finish talking again she started shouting at me again. Saying i dont need to be fixing the seat up for u etc etc. U should be doing it yourself. Criticism etc as usual. 

I got angry and shouted back at her. I said i am just beside u. Do u have to keep shouting and screaming? U cant speak nice? Cant speak soft? Then she kept quiet. What an asshole honestly. 

Now that Im an adult. The period when i can be at home just with my kid and my helper was super peaceful. No argument no shouting and screaming. When my ex was back home there is always loud voices etc. During that period i had this enlightenment. 

What kind of environment has i grown up to be? I am quite grateful i had this helper. Who was so calm, dont argue back. And now my bf is also the same. I learn it another way whereby communication can be done the soft approach way. You dont need to argue or be loud to be listened to. I quite thankful for the experience that make me see how things can be different. 

Today my colleague told me about how they have started using notebook to write things. And her boss laugh at her handwritten. I looked at it and I told her i think mine was worse. Cant even see what i wrote. 

Now i start reflecting back how since young i have been writing my own diary. I like it. But my mum who is so controlling love to dig my diary out and write it without boundaries and then start questioning what i wrote. I got no choice i stop writing and ended up started having a blog which works the same way. 

I also have fb to share pic of my days and happenings. I added my mum before and when i share posts she started questioning at usual. Her controlling and overwhelming pester is frustrating. So i use her phone and blocked myself so she cant see. 😆

She was wondering why my relatives can see my posts etc and not her. I said i dont know. Somehow one of my cousin found out about the blocking and told her. She question if i did that. I say no. And just smoke her over it. She deserves it anyway. If you want to be close to ur daughter stay within the right boundaries. I want no toxic in my life. I learn that i can have peace when i keep her away from me.