I dont like most of the time how she talk things without head or tail. This time I ask her what happen and what she need. She didnt get angry also. She was telling me symptoms she had yesterday. How she went into the hospital. Based on the symptoms I do agree is urgent case and she is being serious. I say I got plans today. At most I go down later. She said ok no rush.
For the 1st time we didnt argue or fight. Is been some time since she ask me for something. And this time she wasnt pushy or controlling. She was considerate which Im happy about. Finnaly she learned. Told Jerry about needing to go down to the hospital. Change of our plans. He was also calm and accomodating. Changing his plans to accommodate. Going back to drive his car instead. Saying it was easier that way.
In my heart, I think my wound healed a little from the past. Remembering how my ex would have complained about change of plans and how I would have complained about my mum. Things have changed. I do agree last time my mum love to over depend on me which makes me annoyed. I hate to have my plans change because of anyone even if it is my mum. Nowadays she is really more independent which really make me feel less pressured and more relax.
Furthermore, I am more tolerant to change of plans as long as it is important. Time spend is more important to me and doing what is needed. Being angry doesnt change any fact. Also time past and my mum is now 60 yo. Not young and also not old.
Also this time I was really concerned whether she got stroke etc. She is at the age where ppl gets all sort of illnesses and problems. Though I never worried much about her health as she is healthy all along. I believe she is fine too. My only concern is what will happen if she really get stroke at still considered a young age. She had this hyperventilation issue years ago which she is afraid she got stroke added to my concern. This could be one time off but also would be a start of a real stroke.
But that time she was being over attention seeking which makes me feel troublesome. So everytime when she say she need something i get really annoyed. Over needy and over dependent plus all the guilt tripping etc just makes me want to get out. However she changed. Less needy less dependent over the years which make me happier.
Now the thought of her being a burden for me again makes me feel pressured. After all I tried to save my money to survive and give myself a better life. And then is like history repeating itself again. For 1 im afraid how history will repeat and her guilt trip start all over again, making me in a dilemma state. Then I think about how I should have some budget to be use for my mum just in case.
I do not know how much she has. But im less worried when she has bought insurance. Although i not sure how much can insurance cover. I just thought, even if she is fine now. I still need a future plan for her. Despite trying to avoid that since the start I plan my life, it seems kind of inevitable. I have to start putting her into my saving plans.
Best is she dont touch the plans and mostly try to depend on herself. Work as long till she can is the best. As I always told her. Dont depend on me for retirement. Like the way she did to me when I was young, I did the same. To be heartless so she learn to be less a burden and dependent to other. 人都是只能靠自己. 靠人人会跑，靠山山回到，靠自己最好. 每个人都有自己的命不要整天妄想着靠儿女养老. 儿女不是投资
