~ i love u ~
Wednesday, November 6, 2024
Annoyance
Tuesday, November 5, 2024
News
时间到
Saturday, November 2, 2024
Keep things quiet
It is not in my nature to keep things quiet. But I also dont want to the bad person to break the news and cause distrust in a happy relationship. Be it a good or bad relationship. If the person is happy without knowing the truth why not let her be happy even when it is false truth. As long as the truth is nv found.
Maybe the girl already know but pretend not to. Maybe the guy is really just looking for what he wants and will stop lying after he got what he wants. Lying in a relationship is wrong. But who am I to judge a person's action? Breaking someone's happiness seems to be wrong to me too. And will you feel happy living is false happiness created by someone?
If this is me in the past, I would have done it. Inform the girl. Protect the girl. But now, Im having second thoughts about it. It's so against my principles and so frustrating. Why let me know about it of all people? Maybe someone else has already told her. Im probably not the only one that knows about it.
Hai. Let it sink and let me think about it. Dont do what u dont want others to do to u. And do what u think u should is right are always my morals.
Friday, November 1, 2024
Give communication
Why do people likes to give up communication? Is so frustrating and contradicting. Want to have something at the same time afraid when you have it. Start pushing special things that appear in your life then start complain why you dont have it.
Saying you have trust on relationship is easy. But do you really have that trust? If you are afraid to even speak up about anything to your partner then where is the trust and where is the faith that your partner will understand you in time?
He/She may not understand your actions now at this moment but keep being open minded to explain yourself. Be consistent to the actions you do if you think you did right for him/her unless she/he say is hurtful. The more you explain, the more he/he can understands you, the stronger the relationship.
Keeping quiet, not being transparent is very bad for a relationship. Then people start complaining how they cant find a connection. How they cant talk to their partner. How their partner dont care for them. How their partner dont understand them. You dont take that risk to find a connection. Speaking up feeling can cause many emotions. Anger, sadness, happiness, embarassment, fear of rejection, fear of being misunderstand etc. Accept all of those emotions. So what if the person misunderstand you. Time will let the person see the truth. All these emotions shouldnt be the one stopping you from being transparent to your partner. The least you can do to be responsible for your relationships when being in the relationship is to explain your stand not in hope that the person understand you immediately or know you without you saying. But to hope in the long run the understanding for each other will deepens and become more perfect.
默契是靠长久磨合和沟通出来的 不是天掉下来的
For certain reasons, you just not willing to risk putting your feelings out in the open. Discuss it together with your partner. Explain what hurts you, what doesnt hurts you. Respect and understand things do get hurt and just stop doing those things that hurt your love one. Hurting a person is not a valid reason why you choose to leave that person. When you dont understand a person well, hurting the person is inevitable. Is how people adjust themselves to accomodate each other. When the person tell you, you are hurting her, understand what is and just stop those actions or words. Not avoid, not run away. But owe up that yes you have hurt her. What you can do to stop that.
Whatever trauma u have from the past remains in the past. Start again. Start afresh with open mind that your future person you meet will not be the same as previous. Give a chance and give faith for yourself. Have some confidence and less self doubt.
Another thing is to listen, willingness to understand and accept. Listen when your partner is telling you his/her feeling. Understand where those feelings are coming from. Accept those emotions that comes with it with a pinch of salt. Always remember those feelings are from the past not present. She/he is just remembering past when she/he is explaining to you. Why she/he is feeling this. Because of the actions you did or words you say reminds them of the past. Then remembering those actions and words when she/he explained, adjust them and stop doing them. Dont direct those emotions to yourself and then put the blame to them for telling you their feelings.
And that is how you get the happiness and the strong connection you want to have. Work for it if it is what you want to have and you will then deserve to have what you have in your life.
Thursday, October 31, 2024
情绪消耗完毕后
发泄完所有的情绪后就完事了。
给自己最多1星期时间
然后就是振作的时候
工作做好。努力赚钱
每天早睡。11点前就睡
吃的好。水果蔬菜不能少
调理身体。喝补汤
健身健康。跳华族舞
加油 加油 加油
安排好的未来在等着
不真诚不疼爱我的人远离也不待见
Wednesday, October 30, 2024
I miss the guy
I miss the guy who has eyes for me. Miss the guy that is kind hearted. The guy that will smile whenever he sees me. Willing to do anything for me. Cares for me and willing to solve every problem with me.
I also miss the guy who has very good patience and good attitude. The guy who always encourage me and willing to accept me for who I am. I miss the guy who always treat me gently.
I also miss the guy that is always soft spoken to me, decisive and willing to listen to my every story no matter the story is happy, sad or angry.
I miss the guy that can comfort me, give me a hug when I need. Fetch me in order to spend more time with me.
I miss the guy that was once only mine and only put me priority.
But now, I lost that guy to someone I cant fight with. I lost the fight to someone who is by his side longer than me. Someone who has more influence than me. Someone I cant fight against and have no chance of winning. lost that guy that used to be so kind hearted and so patient and im upset that there is nth I can do to recover him or us back to how we use to be.
Goodbye
Thursday, October 24, 2024
Injustice
Feeling so injustice in current state. People can hurt you mentally and emotionally and there is no way in legal law to help.
But when you take physical actions to protect yourself, you are committing criminal offence. Can sort of understand how helpless a person can be when it comes to family law and civil law.
Learned criminal law and civil law but nv really been in that kind of situation in order to understand. Now I do.
Civil law protect you by financial. The bigger amount of money you have, the more possibility you win the case and you can keep appealing. Not sure if civil law also more bias to elderly and kids. But if you want to fight for it, you use money. Not sure if it is really fair and justice in that sense. Most of unethical ways ppl do can only be pursue by civil law and not by criminal law. With this, I feel it is already unjustified. Criminal law protect by government. Automatically protect you from it. If you look into it. You will understand elderly and kids are protected by government automatically. But not adult. Kids have protection because they are young and naive. Elderly are protected because they are consider weak.
Woman are protected by civil law as they are considered weaker. But because it is not criminal law, a lot of unjustice can happen. Whoever stay in the protection of the court has the power to misuse it. Most commonly seen or feel are elderly nowadays.
In singapore, elderly are nv weak. Seen a lot of cases of elderly treating themselves like a king or queen and using this elderly privilege given by the government to support their unreasonable actions. Adults are helpless against the situation because once we fight back physically, you are the ones being charge criminal offence.
Disabled privileges are also more common nowadays. Entitled and well protected by government. Humans are humans. When they at the good side of biases, they tend to take advantage of it, using it's power to bully other people.
My generations are the worst. We are always at the disadvantage side. Especially woman. I feel woman tend to be at the weaker end not just physical but also emotionally. Both inbuilt and cant be changed. We are not physical more muscled or emotionally strong. Woman are bullied and abuse through generation by man. Man instill these power and women agree to it. Brainwash and guilt trip by man to do as he says.
Then these women become the next generation bullies. Feeling unjust and mentally insane, they have give birth to their own kids which give them this entitled sense of owning the kids and abusing their parenting rights and control over kids. Using the same technique as the man to bully and abuse their kids. Controlling them by guilt tripping and brainwashing their minds. With education, kids are no longer controllable as they learn new things, understanding and differentiating right and wrong.
These kids that are abused also use the same way to abuse either their peers and eventually grow up and start abusing their partners. It is like a cycle. Brainwashing and controlling their partners. Certain things stop with education but not all things can be stop through education and it takes a lot of time to reduce that toxic influence. It is also social norm etc that affects it and with human rights in place. Most things like abuse are more seen into the light.
Physical abuse is physically hurt etc which can be proven. But emotionally and mental abuse are harder and it can impact a person in ways you can ever imagine. All these impact are unseenable and unmeasurable. Only the perpetrator will understand. They know how it impacts you and they know how to play with your feelings.
Worse is those perpetrators are protected by the law. The only way to get them is when you have money to burn at civil court. As long as they dont do anything physcial, there is nth the court can do. Unless you are diagnose with depression or mental illness, you may win the case. But it may affect if you have a child to fight for.
This power they get from you and government are encouraging them to do more to hurt ppl and victimize themselves.
Saturday, September 7, 2024
Condition
Sunday, July 28, 2024
Courage
Thursday, July 25, 2024
伤人心的话
Thursday, July 11, 2024
Sadness
Saturday, June 29, 2024
护着
Monday, May 27, 2024
人品
人品好的人不只要懂得控制情绪更是行为
A good character knows how to control not just emotions but also behavior
1. 不在嫉妒的时候贬低, 而在羡慕里学习
Dont belittle when you are jealous,learn when you envy
2. 不在生气的时候背板, 而在愤怒里明白
Dont betray when you are angry,understand the anger
3. 不在伤心的时候挖苦, 而在悲伤里变强
Dont insult when you are upset, accept your sorrow
4. 不在强大的时候嫌弃, 而在强大里帮助
Dont look up when you are strong,bring up when you are capable
5. 不在判断的时候加害, 而在评论里无动
Dont harm when you are judgemental,stay indifferent in negativity
6. 不在善良的时候怜悯,而在邪恶里选择
Dont pity when you are kind, choose to be kind
Thursday, April 11, 2024
Laziness
Sunday, January 28, 2024
Busybody
Busybody acts up again. Asking ppl to return his luggage that he originally say he didnt want. Said he bought new ones. Then start complaining about where I bring Ashley out. Say my time with Ashley cant stay at his house. Blah blah blah. I say u nth better to do, go talk to lawyers. Dont keep finding trouble with me.
Was complaining to J also about this. He tried to cheer me up in the morning. So annoyed with this kind of ppl. Nice to me I can be nice to u. But find trouble and being nasty to me, im not a weak kitty also. Got ability go earn more money. Dont use this kind of petty stupid things to make yourself feel better. Such stupidity. Some ppl nv grow up. Childishness can be engrave in the bones.
Friday, January 19, 2024
Wednesday, January 17, 2024
Cant sleep
Recently cant sleep again. Super annoyed. Had a little quarrel. Sometimes I think to myself if I am asking too much or I am just too tired. I know nobody is perfect. But sometimes I just ask myself. Why am I tolerating all these when I can be free at my own house. No need to care what I buy. No need to ask someone for permission when I buying something. Can have all the inconvenience I want in my house. Or worse when someone just say no without explaining. I'm tired of asking and needing to push someone for a reason for why no.
Why no? just no. Why just no? Im annoyed. is it that difficult to explain? Is it that difficult to coax? Maybe I just need some time myself to unwind. Annoyed needing to entertain an aunty who is totally unrelated to me. Expecting and expecting stupid things from me. Hello. Im just a normal girl. dont have ridiculous expectations of me. Im not your daughter in law. I really pity the person who become your daughter in law must be damn unlucky to have you as mother in law. yea right. Im staying at your place but still is for the sake for your child. Actually I can hack care that much right? Since my feelings doesn't matter.
The only thing I am staying here for is to have more time together. But since it doesn't seem to matter that Im upset or angry then what for I actually care if we have more time together? I dont even know what I am angry about now. Is it the fact that I am staying with inconvenience? Tolerating? or it is that my feelings wont cared for? Or maybe is all. Let's deal with it one at a time. Staying with inconvenience and tolerating, easy to solve. Feelings not cared for requires communication. Let's see how we can communicate.
Thursday, January 4, 2024
Splurging
These few days been splurging again. Looks like I have to cut my travel budget in this way else I will not be able to reach my saving goals from the way I spend money. With hormones changes, cravings too.
In future when Im moving to new office expenses on food will probably increase. Though it isn't much cheaper at great world also. Average meals a day is about $6-7. Dinner will be more expensive. Hmm got time need to double check how much do I actually spend on food.
Today my boss was saying about black filling are already Mercury which means I ate small amount of mercury everyday. Got to remove and change. Looks like I have to research more on it. Everyday now Im looking at how to renovate all new house in the future.
In the past I often think about getting bigger house. The bigger the house the better. Was considering a 3 room flat. Nowadays I am reconsidering this concept. Maybe it is good I just get a smaller house and build up my saving for retirement. Just buy from hdb bto then to pay extra to overhyped flat prices and loans.
Then I get target to aim for the brs as well. Earn more interest from govt with higher interest in cpf. Or should I target from rental. I wonder which is more worth planning. When I have time I should plan and see.
Tuesday, January 2, 2024
心情不好
这两天心情不好。两个受伤的人可能会有结果吗?过去有这么容易放下吗?一个人需要多久去了解呢?有时我在想是要求太高还是不适合的太多。为什么人总是可以说一套做一套呢?心里明明就不信任却要当好人去隐瞒结果闹的大家都不愉快。
在利益面前说感情是不是有点可笑?然后又要在感情面前说现实。有时我都觉得很可笑。有的人就是很奇怪在有利面前,就说感情。而在无利面前,就说现实。人都是自私的嘛。又要求对方爱你又害怕受伤害又计较又不愿付出。而我最不喜欢的就是这样。如果只希望一方面的付出那就不要谈恋爱。
有时候真的不可以有期待。因为期待越大失望就会变得越多。而有的人就是喜欢为了利益说一堆无心的话。现实往往让我往后站一些。看清了在说话。我喜欢听好听的话更喜欢看到实际的行动。而我不喜欢听影响我心情难听的话。而有的话要来自心才有诚意而这些心里话不说出口就完全没有意义。
我不喜欢口是心非的话也不喜欢难听贬低人的话。我还是喜欢有本事却很谦虚的人。我不会说自己有多好只求真心能遇真心而诚意能被珍惜。人最怕的就是在还没有尝试之前就被自己的恐惧害死。而在自己没有勇气里面愿天愿地唯独不愿自己。更在口是心非里面自我感动感觉良好
2024
Wednesday, November 29, 2023
Busy with work
Recently a lot of work pending to clear. Audit, tax, balance sheet schedule. Now is month end also. Still got another entity audit reporting.
After finishing all these, I need to start doing next year tax to prevent last min overcrowding. Still got shopee and lazada interface issue to clear.
Processes are being streamline. Things seems to be moving better to my expectations. Still having work life balance. Dec is here again. My most packed and money bleeding month of the year. This year additional wedding.
Still wondering how should I be celebrating my birthday this year. 🤔 Dor should be celebrating with her hubby. 1st year staying together. Honeymoon period. Busy but happy. Cant imagine when she start having a baby. As long as she is prepared, at the least the mental is well prepared for.
After Dec will be all the new year gathering and meetup liao. The standard gathering period. So busy at work, didnt even have the time to think about travelling. Usually every quarter i will be travelling. But this quarter I didnt. Next travel tentatively is in Mar. If I put another travel in jan will feel too close. Hmm. Then Feb is cny. Maybe should just stay in sg. Save cost. Since I spend too much on my freedom trip.
Good to accumulate the leave also. This company has a different leave period and year end. Good to change. Not so packed at least. Is a good benefit cause Dec can be a travel time for me too since is no longer year end. Let's see how next year. Got to make sure spend within my budget. Save up enough.
Monday, November 27, 2023
Judgemental and busybody
Some ppl are just so judgemental. Only concern about what others do but nv reflect on their own. Loves to insult and criticise others but nv look at their own behaviours and actions.
Loves to change their minds and decisions as and when they like. Selfish and only concern about their own well being. I feel selfish and self centered are 2 different things.
Ppl can be self centered because you have to love yourself before you love others. The top priority is you yourself. Having things work around you first naturally is ok. Someone keep telling me doing things that convenient others are doing things that inconvenient yourself. When it comes to a decision to make where u have to choose to inconvenient others or yourself of course choose to inconvenient others.
The other person is also being self centered by inconveniencing you. A person who is worth to accommodate for will also accommodate u in some other ways. So prioritize only ppl who are worth to you.
Old school thinking of self sacrificing for the others etc nv worked. My mum didnt sacrifice to stay with my dad just for me. And I am happy she make that choice. Else we will all probably be living a super miserable life. Self sacrificing is stupid and if u make that decision to do that, then dont hold expectation to be grateful or to be returned. Nobody owe u or force u to make that self sacrifices and definitely not your kids. U choose to give birth to them. Not they choose to be alive.
Having kids has to be purely out of love between u and your partner. The decision to have a kid has to come from you alone. Not because of life cycle, not because your partner wants it, not because need to pass down generation etc. Purely because u wanted it. Once u made that decision, then u will have given your kids the right start in life. Because u given birth out of love and nth else.
I learn that when I was young. Nv sacrifice my own happiness for anyone. I make my own decisions and I deal with my own consequences. I make mistakes as I go along. Some mistakes are irreversible which I will just have to accept. We have to learn to control emotions and be objective to deal with consequences. It is hard but it is not impossible.
Ppl can judge and criticise you all the time. And is ok. Leave them out of your life. Real friends and real love who care for u will not criticise you for your actions and decisions. They will not push every fault or mistake from their life to you. Stay away from such ppl because they will nv learn and their happiness depends on pulling u down to hell to join them. They are just narcissist who enjoys seeing ppl angry and suffering.
Therefore just ignore and leave those kind of ppl out. Surround yourself with ppl u trust and love u. Ppl who can keep up with your optimistic and happiness. Ppl who feel happy for u when u are happy. Ppl who are sincere and real.
Thursday, November 23, 2023
说话的方式
有的人就是喜欢口是心非。明明为对方着想,却喜欢作。喜欢为了面子说难听的话。结果让误会大了却没法消除。自作自受。即时处理可能还有商量和好的余地,可是就喜欢吵架然后让对方心里不好受。让对方对自己产生误会,让对方自己解决委屈,让事情变的难堪无法收拾。对方选择离去,而自己只能接受。到头来输赢重要吗?面子重要吗?
人就是要放下面子懂得珍惜对方。愿意认输的人承认错误的人一向来我都比较敬佩。因为我知道没有几个人能这么做。而这需要勇气,需要责任感,更需要开朗的心,有上进心才做得到的事。吵架不是问题,说出不好的话只要不时常犯都是还有余地挽回。了解你的人是会在你真心抱歉后去理解原谅你。但不代表是你可以一直犯错。理解你是因为爱。你要珍惜。而不是不尊重的一直去调戏对方的底线。最重要的还是要懂得认错还要即时记住避免再犯。
很多人都误会了什么是上进心。不是说在爬着企业阶梯就是有上进心。而是要有开明的心去进步。是认知更多事去了解更多不一样三观的来源,去明白不同的性格,去感受理解不同的人,而用这些来调整自己让自己更好。对的方式要留着而错的要懂得改进。这才是上进心。要懂得接受别人的不一样。要懂得尊重别人的观点。即使你不同意也不要去侮辱更不要去批评试图改变。你只要接受说出自己的观点。点到就熄。
要明白原因才能明白为何做法不一样。但懂得不要去评判对方做的是否正确。有时正确是没有定义的。你不会做同样的决定那是因为你不活在她的世界里,没经历跟她一摸一样的事就不要做出评判。事事没有绝对。人的性格原本就不一样,家庭背景,等等都不一样也都是她用来做决定的方式。如果你经历了未必会选择比她好的对策。
人都是在经历中成长,没有谁比谁厉害。只有谁成长得快。自己跟自己比较,今天的自己比昨天的好就是上进心。
说话不要口是心非,不要故意伤害对方。让自己被误会,让对方难过。这对自己没有好处
Sunday, November 5, 2023
时间,期盼,感受
时间一直在过,不为任何人停留。明天我的末人终于要回来啦。今天还真快乐认识了很多新朋友。一起野餐聊天。每个人的时间都不一样。今天有人结婚啦也有人今天离婚了。有人怀孕了也有人流产了。有的人不想结婚也有的人恨不得快点结婚。
每个人有自己的生活。每个人有应该走的路。所以不要把自己的梦想嫁祸于别人。也不要把自己觉得应该有的要求和期盼硬是逼着人家也一样。你可以有意见,但别人不一定要采纳。没有必要管人家怎么做。因为生活是人家的不是你的。你做你自己生活里的主角就行。你决定好你自己的生活就好。没有必要控制或强行别人的生活。意见必要的话说一次就足够。不对的人一次都不需要。要不然到头只有一肚子的埋怨和另一肚子的委屈。当别人没有问你意见时,就闭嘴。毕竟每个人说出来的都是埋怨罢了。又不是没有自己解决的能力。只不过是要一个听的人。需要意见时,是会问的。不问就是没必要。
很多时候都要好好沟通。要懂得说出自己的需求。要懂得了解自己的感受,也要懂得怎么表达自己的感受。让别人猜测就会有机会让自己失望生气。那又何必呢?要就必须说,说了才能得到。能快乐时就不要委屈。对的人在你委屈时,会替你心疼。不对的人在你委屈时,只会让你更心寒,变成自作自受。
女人和男人其实也没什么差别。真的只是需要多沟通自己的看法,多了解对方。今天我就看到了。女人埋怨时,说了一堆今天发生的事,就是在撒撒娇。希望的是被安慰,而男人就不明白。就因为不够甜的说,或不够善于表达,所以男人就说你说这些干嘛都过去了。女人当然就更伤心,也就不继续说了,而有时男人过后就说女人怎么不会撒娇。重点是戏才刚开始,就被你一波冷水熄灭了还怎么撒娇。如果男人懂得给多一点关心。是吗?今天那么辛苦哦。sayang女人一下。女人还能继续演,对咯要是有你在就好了。角色对换的话男人也需要发发牢骚撒个娇被女人安抚疼爱一下。而没得到期待的安慰反而会生气,埋怨对方为什么不了解自己。撒娇的开始就是从埋怨的说出自己今天受的委屈开始的。
有时真的要问问自己要表达的是什么?如果只需要安慰,就要说出口,必经谁的都不是谁肚子里的亏虫。了解是要从自己说出来的。除非你的另一半是个观察能力很强的人要不然怎么会知道。就算观察能力强的人也不会一直解读正确。一旦不正确,期盼就没有满足就会生气伤心,另一半就会一头雾水。在发生类似的情况还是会有一样的结果。与其让自己委屈,为何不说出来让对方了解做出你期盼的举动?
Saturday, November 4, 2023
Self blame and self pity
Cant sleep. Did some psychology reading. Understand emotions is something I want to learn more on. Reading up on self blaming and self pity. Mostly related to emotional abuse and depression. It is true that family background can really cause some permanent damage.
Recently been talking to my colleague. She's been talking about her sons. Older one is from previous marriage. More independent more mature. She feels that she does not need to worry that much about him. But then it is him that i feel need more attention and love. Younger one is more rebellious and cause more things for her to worry.
Usually people who are more insecure are the ones who will do well and make u not worry. Because they are afraid if they dont do well, they will be left out. They do well to get into your good books. While ppl who are very secure are more rebellious and spoilt because they know no matter what negative emotions they give to u, u will not leave.
I dont really like using the one independent on a kid. A kid is a kid. Making mistakes etc is part of life. Kids who are so self concern, so independent are usually the ones who knows they can only depend on themselves when things go wrong. Is actually a very sad thing. Is like being force to grow up, force to mature when you are still young and should be in the age of enjoying childhood and life stage.
Self-blame is one of the most toxic forms of emotional abuse. It amplifies our perceived inadequacies, whether real or imagined, and paralyzes us before we can even begin to moe forward.
The key to resolve is self acceptance. Recognizing that we are perfect just the way we are and that perfection is stunningly imperfect. Humans are imperfect. We are not going to get it right every time. If we enter into each situation, relationship and moment with that perspective, rather than trying to interject the opposite, we create an opportunity for learning, introspection, self-discovery and, ultimately, personal evolution
Taking away the blame without taking away the responsibility keeps us accountable to ourselves and the world around us without setting us up for shame and devaluation.
Self-pity can make you feel like nothing ever goes your way, and so there’s no point in trying to solve your problems.
It’s an “energy suck.”
Reminding yourself that everyone struggles and has stress, you can help shift your perspective. You’re not the only one who faces problems each day.
If other people can overcome, there’s a chance you can, too. Self-pity becomes a negative thing because it maximizes the victim mentality. If you believe you hold the role of the victim, you are removing your power and personal responsibility.
Self blaming make you too harsh on yourself. While self pity is like finding excuses or a solution out of self blaming. It seems like both can co-exist and this is an instinct and nature action taken by your brain to survive a emotional trauma.
This process is tedious and as mention very emotional draining. Looking on bright side, being more optimistic, doing thingd you are good at and interested in does helps to get over the process faster.
Practice mindfulness allow thoughts to come and go, without getting “stuck". When you practice mindfulness, thoughts of self-pity can surface, but you let them pass rather than allow yourself to dwell on them. Mindfulness lets you live in the moment and meet all thoughts with curiosity and openness.
Being stuck in Self pity is harmful for self esteem moving forward. Someone who sits in a perspective of self-pity is unable to take the opportunity to choose happiness because they’re instead choosing to focus on all that has gone wrong.
Coupling mindfulness with gratitude can help encourage a sense of contentment. Self-pity can be isolating and repel those who’d like to support you but at the same time external validation from others during self-pity can also create a vicious cycle.
You may have told yourself you deserved something negative, and loved ones offered you comfort. Now, to get that comfort again, you may be tempted to come to them with more negativity.
Identifying the sources of your stress briefly and being solution-focused instead of problem-focused can help you overcome challenges in life.
In conclusion, self pity and self blame can only be resolved by yourself. It's all in the mindset of your own. Validate yourself, accept yourself, acknowledge those feelings and then move on positively.
Friday, November 3, 2023
感受未来的生活
这次去欧洲旅游让我感受到我退休想要过的生活。自由自在不想为任何人也不想为钱绑着的生活。只要健康就行。这就是我的目标。一个人也好两个人更好。不再是个必需品。现在努力赚钱,将来旅游就是我的生活。海边的度假听海的平静是我想要的生活。曾今被动摇过在海边做工但钱不够没法一直维持我的梦想。还是努力赚够比较适合。对自己说加油。一直以来一直在努力幸苦了。就算被到败一刀你也果断了断了。就算是迟了也来得及即时阻损。
Monday, October 23, 2023
Back to Sg
Life is back to the usual working life. Mon-fri work. Found a job quite fast. Didnt have much choices due to fixed expenses. But at the least is something i enjoy doing. I always feel so happy being able to work in something I enjoy and a job that is enough to support the lifestyle i want also.
Budgeted my salary now. Having a goal to work forward always makes me motivated. Life gets meaningless when you dont have goals. For my entire life, is good that I always have a goal to work on. After I have my daughter, I was depressed. Somehow I lost motivation and lost my priorities. And now Im back and happy.
Nv lose what is important to you end of the day no matter which life cycle you are at. Apart from the usual life cycle, there are a lot of things to see. Family shouldnt be what tie you now and it will nv will. People who love you will understand that and support you. Freedom should nv be compromised while you are with ppl who love you. Im happy I found ppl who love me and supported me. Doesnt restrict me and discourage me.
Ppl who make me happier and ppl who make me willing to stay.
Europe Week 6
Friday, August 25, 2023
Europe Week 5
Tuesday, August 15, 2023
Europe Week 4
Europe week 3
Europe week 2
Europe week 2 Im at santorini. Sea view everyday calms my heart. Refresh and relief my mental stress.
Every meal is at a place with sea view. Things are more ex there as it is a touristy place. Bought a necklace which is gifted there which is gold and really very nice which multiple ways of wearing.
Im fortunate that I am staying at fira. All the buses arrive and depart from Fira. You cant go from red beach to oia. Everywhere you go have to depart from Fira.
During my days at santorini, I went to the black beach, Oia, white beach etc. The best beach to swim would be Oia. Also there is cliff jumping at Oia beach which I did.
The moment i hit the water, my butt hurts. Adrenaline rush. I wont mind to do it again. But cause it hurts when hit the water so i would prefer not to.
Got myself dark that day as I waited in the sun to video for a lady to jump. She told me she was from Perth. But when we nake friends and exchange fb i realize she is from Russia. Not sure why the lie but feels skeptical if you are lying. She ask me out for a meal or drink say she wants to thank me. I told her is ok cause Im leaving.
I also took a train in santorini. It was worth it. Can enjoy eat and drink on the train see the sea view and mountain without being in the hot sun. Didnt swim at the white beach though so dont know if it is good. Water look not bad.
These are the more memorable things that happen to me. If I ever come go to santorini again. Rmb have to book hotel with caldera view and best to stay fira. Then can travel around. Also Naussa is not bad for its local food and environment. The ambience is lively at dinner. Aris seafood risotto is really nice. Iriana cafe has very good pancakes and view for sunset also.
Friday, July 28, 2023
期待
Europe week 1 Rhodes
During my trip at Rhodes, went to the petting zoo. My travel trip nv change all these years. Animals, water sports, shopping and beaches.
This trip to the zoo was good experience. Able to feed and touch most of the animals there. A recommended experience to go. There are ostriches, goat, wild boars, lemurs, deer, camels, donkeys, ponies.
When i got into this open enclosure full of goats, 2 of the goats are ramming each other for food. I walk away to avoid caught in fight. Suddenly one goat ram into my leg. Thought it was an accident but wasn't when i caught the goat attack in one of my video. The goat will purposely ram into you for the food. So rowdy. Got a bug bruise on my leg. Luckily wasnt fracture or what. Still able to walk else my vacation will be cut short. Provided the feedback to the zoo. Cant imagine if it happened to a young kid. Definitely hospitalized already.
The staff of the zoo was really kind. The zoo wasnt quite accessible. Need take bus and walk like 10-15 min in. The sun was damn hot also. Ask the staff if there is any bus and he offered to send me to bus stop. He drop me off at bus stop but soon come back again. Told me they are going rodos and can send me back to rodos. Ended up send me all the way back to my hotel. Really nice and friendly. Chatted on the way with him and his friends.
Went for a fishing trip also. Not I fish but the guide fish. More like a fishing tour kind of thing. Waited for the bus to go there. End up getting late and I took an taxi. Didnt caught any fish. But the trip was not bad. But not really worth for the price. The guide was funny though.
Was considering parasailing but did before and feel if i do here not very worth it for the price. End up decided to go for a semi submarine cruise. Is a good experience and the view in the submarine is really nice. When they throw food in the water, fishes crowd around. So is like looking in an aquarium but actual is looking into the sea. The sub area is always empty so feels like a private trip to me. Also ppl tend to avoid me. Hahaha maybe cause im the only asian there. This trip also allow me to swim in a cave. Didnt go very deep cause is very dark and scary. When i was snorkelling i saw a flatfish. Seems like there are quite a number of flatfish in that area. Anthony quinn.
Food wise galazio food is not bad. Ate their crispy chicken bao and their seafood pasta. Both are good. But their communication and service really got to improve. Kastri beach tomato soup is nice. Tried their grilled squid and is disappointing. Not fresh. Though they give me a vanilla soft serve. Free ice cream which is nice. Another recommended food is the Italian pasta call linguine pizzeria. The pasta is fantastic. And the artisan grill. The mixed grill is also fantastic. The meat has the char taste and perfectly marinated.
Overall rhodes is a nice place to visit. But once is enough for me. Nth much that I will come back for other than food above. Though maybe diving here may see more animals which I didn't. The sea here is really clear and nice. Clean as well so diving maybe good.
Thursday, July 20, 2023
Europe day 1-2
My yolo Europe trip.
Yesterday was my first day here. Long hours of flight. Sit until my backside hurt. Landed in Rhodes and took a bus to hotel. Long bus journey another 1 hour. Saving cost while on this trip to make sure I don't over budget.
Today went shopping. Bought 2 shorts and a top for myself. Bought a dress and umbrella for Ashley. So hot the weather that I got to buy cold coffee twice. Tomorrow going to bring cold water out in my thermal.
Stay at galazio. Disappointed with the room. What sea view. Totally no view. Garden view have la. Sea blocked by restaurant in front. Bad review. While travelling, feel that the ppl here aren't friendly. Maybe is the way they talk. The tone and all quite rude. Like the staff at galazio. Hopefully next few days can swim.
So far I feel is quite safe here is Rhodes. Today lunch I ate pita. Share the table with a guy. Saw that tomato sauce bottle on the table. Without thinking I just took it and use on my pita and put on my plate.
The guy kept looking at me. But didn't say anything. After that he left and took the sauce back to counter. Where the counter staff just kept it. I was thinking why the guy don't just leave it there. After a while then I remembered. Ppl have been saying there is no free sauce in Europe. Maybe the guy did paid for that sauce. Which is why he kept looking at me. Anyway use already use. Hahaha. Can't puke back also and the guy also didn't say anything. So..... Act blur. 😂
Friday, June 30, 2023
Friends or Lovers
Friday, June 23, 2023
New meetings
Monday, June 12, 2023
Weekend
Tuesday, June 6, 2023
Meeting new people
Met someone new yesterday. Catch a movie together. Movie was quite late. Ate sushi and played some arcade games to pass time. He is quite a gentleman. Can say his mum did taught him well.
Told me some of his relationship matters and his dad. Find some similarities with his dad and mine. Both are jerks. We didn't do anything for my dad to be grateful about. But his did. I wonder if they do have guilt. Maybe guilt is the reason he disrupted the mum sentimental area?
Different people display their emotions differently when they are upset, angry, disappointed and guilty etc. Some don't even show happiness on their face. Not everyone display or know how to display their emotions and thinking properly.
I realized ego and hatred usually stands in the way of communication. Ego u can't say what u want. U hide your feelings. U say things that u don't mean. Hatred u become self centered. U lost sight of being empathy and understanding to the other party. Because hate crowd your mind. No matter what decision he/she did u choose to treat it negatively.
Being able to put down ego and hatred is like a learning process. To be better self and to be communicate better.
Friday, June 2, 2023
Belief and 3 views
Monday, May 29, 2023
Weekend
Last friday suddenly feel like going yishun dam.
I went to watch little mermaid. Sebastian is so cute in the show and so funny like the cartoon. The movie was well made and is exactly like the cartoon version except the animal. I didnt expect Sebastian to be a crab and Flounder to be so thin. Hahaha. Also didnt expect scurry not to be a seagull. I always thought Scurry was a seagull.
Before the movie I ate kimchi soup. While carrying the soup I was distracted, spill the boiling soup over my thigh. Damn painful. Luckily I have already reach the table, else will be worse if I have to react to the pain while holding the soup. Quickly put it on the table before I lost control of the soup due to the pain. Have to rush for the movie, so I didnt actually attend much to the wound. Just try to air it while eating the noodles.
After eating, make a quick trip to the toilet, wash the wound slightly then rush for the movie. After the movie then I went to toilet to take closer look. The scar is already there. red patch on my thigh. This is the second time I scald myself. The first time was worse because it was burning oil. My whole hand couldnt even move. The moment it drop on my hand, I think my hand didnt know how to even react. It took like few mins for the pain to kick in.
After the movie, I went to yishun dam. Eileen rush over after appointment to accompany. So touching. She really can understand emotions and she able to empathize very well. She ask me if I'm emo. Hahaha. Which I am. Needed time to walk. Took a long walk alone before she join me. By the time she join me, Im already alright. We chat and she had a quarrel with her fiance started from a mistrust. I talk to her about things she has to note and pointed out things she can improve on or try. We end up having a last min staycay at clark quay. Slept at almost 4am that night. Luckily didnt have any early plans next day.
Next day we woke up is already lunch time. We had vietnam food and cab to bishan. She bought KFC to appease her fiance then I went to see Ashley. Wish I had more time for her. As usual, his attitude just make me angry. Ask him about the teacher parent conference. He told me I didnt ask him for the link. WTF. That day he told me about the timing I said ok. Furthermore I say u send me the details. He didnt send for whatever selfish reasons and he has the cheek to say I didnt ask for it. I just said you dont know what is call collaboration? You got the link and you cant send? I cant be bothered to argue with him since is already past, I just say tell me everything the teacher say in detail. He told me oh in summary Ashley need to manage her emotions more.
Im so annoyed. I dont know what is his point. Is always difficult to communicate with him when he couldnt be more objective and put his personal emotions aside. End of the day, I just try to be patient because I want to know Ashley's performance. The rest are not my concerns. Learn to be objective is what I need to do when communicate with him. Cant let his emotions affect me and make me lose what is important. I already lost too much.
We went to ECP. Ashley rode her bicycle. She is getting good with her bicycle and since she is growing taller fast, the bike is almost just nice height for her. But the bicycle tire no air. So a bit difficult to ride. We were riding around looking for the ice cream uncle as Sam promised to give her ice cream. She skate a bit on the skateboard. Then Sam carry her on shoulder most of the time back. She was lazy to walk or ride.
Dinner we ate at the hawker. Sam bought food I bought drinks. He bought chicken wings, sotong and veg. I know the sotong is buy for me cause I like to eat de. After Ashley ate her chicken rice, she play some sand jump around doing some counting on the log. Then went to nai nai house shower. Sam send me back home. By the time I reach home, Ashley already fell asleep in the car. Didnt manage to say bye to her or kiss her.
Luckily didnt arrange any sunday morning activity. Met up with Z had lunch and volunteer at acres. This time they send me to help out the aviary. Feeding the baby birds. They are so cute, I thought they will keep eating as long as you feed them. Then I realize they doesnt. They will stop opening their mouth when full except one baby Mynah. So fat already still keep eating. LOL. But one thing for sure, once they not hungry, they dont chirp. Else they very noisy. Then there is this one bird who was already release to the wild. But still hanging around refusing to go. Damn funny.
Then got one owl, heard that when it was here, weigh 100g until now still weigh 100g. Hahaha. The owl dont like to eat. Saw the staff force feeding it. It just keep struggling then refuse to open its beak. Got to force it open to feed it. But at the least it didnt spit out. It was really fun experience volunteering there. So dont mind to continue. For Z, he was task to clear the tortoise poop. Then 80% for the time he was cutting grass. I think he did it too slowly. The staff say he got to fill up the basket. He didnt even fill half while at it. LOL. So cant handle other things. He complaining about too boring how he need to bend his waist to go cut the grass etc.
Sometimes I really wonder his motive of volunteering. You volunteer to help out. Why does it matter what you help out with? After the volunteer, we ate dinner and sing K. He is like my sing K partner. Last time I also call him to sing K. This time also. He got a list of sing K songs that he pick from. Damn funny.
This weekend was therapeutic. At the least kept myself busying and distracted so I dont have to think about the sad things. Z say I was a texter can reply him very fast whenever he text. I also think to myself. Hahaha. I am really a texter. like to text a lot. But also because my this job is too free. Too difficult to pass time so I like to text. If is not for this job, I probably wont reply text that quickly also. His explanation about text give me a different perspective also. Some people are just not the same I guess.
Friday, May 26, 2023
Happy
Wednesday, May 24, 2023
Bali trip
Wednesday, May 17, 2023
Work
Monday, May 15, 2023
本该开心的
本该开心的日子,我却突然看着我的博客难过。
我读着自己写过的事,明明自己已经这么伤心
明明这么的失望,为何没勇气放弃
我后悔拖了这么久才选择放手
也在想我自己到底怎么熬过来的。
我记得曾经在公干时,不知为何就泪流不止
我记得曾经问过自己为何如此命苦
我不愿相信自己选择错误也不愿清醒
那时的我曾想我一定能坚持忍过
虽然没能更早止损但我始终做到了
我不后悔因为我经历也坚持过我的爱情
所以我没遗憾
这一次我要找珍惜真的爱我的人
找个愿意付出的而我也欣赏的人
找个我也爱的而不是只爱我的人
贪心点找个乐观,有时间,有钱,有爱的人
或许找个我爱的才是对的选择吧
不要再找日久生情的
Friday, May 12, 2023
释怀了
终于看开了也释怀了。some things as long as you have tried your best, there nth you can do anymore. If this is challenge, then you just have to face it. If this is what you have to let go, then let go. My life has always been good. What for want to jeopardize it for unworthy people? People who are mend to stay will stay. People who will mend to be yours will be. People who don't learn will nv learn.
When an opportunity comes to you, u grab it. If it works, it works, if it doesn't, you know u already tried to grab it. So if it doesn't means is not mend to be. Look on the bright side, you already have a lot more than you needed. If a person doesn't see your worth, there is no point to squeeze yourself into their life. If a person doesn't want to wake up, there is nth you can do to wake him up. They know what you wanted but they didn't see a need to provide. Since they don't see it. Then what's the point for u to be angry?
The more you got angry, the more they don't see your worth. So just relax and do what u need to. When the time is right, u will get what u wanted.
Thursday, May 11, 2023
Boring
Friday, May 5, 2023
Happy
Today mood happy though fever since wed. After talking to friends, I finally have closure. Hmm. I should always rmb who I have by my side when I'm down. Feel so fortunate to have them around me.
Yesterday meet uni friends to chat. Counting down to my solo trip. Can't wait. But there is another trip to look forward to. Which is the trip with my cousins. I'm so excited. The last time I went on a Bali trip with my cousins was since young when we went hk. Since then I nv had a chance. Finally got this chance. Need to cherish.
We also arranging genting trip with uni friends. Hopefully this time round we can do it. Been saying but have not been doing. 😂
Tuesday, May 2, 2023
Daughter
Being a person can't be too sensible. My daughter is still young. There is no need to teach her to be smart etc at this moment. I only want to guide her how to manage her emotions. She can wilful, can be spoilt. Why not? When she grow up she will slowly see the truth of the world. Just let her grow normally. In time, she will mature, she will learn all she needs to learn. There is no need to rush.
At her age, she doesn't want to share. So be it. I just have to guide her to see the benefit she gets if she share. If after knowing she still doesn't share, then so be it. Is her decision to make. There are definitely things that adult don't share to. Tell me u share your spouse or partner with another person. 😂
When you are too sensible, the moment you start to rebel, people say you are childish, you don't know how to think. People say you are too irresponsible. Whereas when a person is always childish, nth is wrong when she throw her temper anyway she like even if it is wrong. It becomes your duty to have to coax her.
So I want my daughter to have a happy childhood that she don't need to care about money, don't need to care about other people's feelings, don't need to care about being competitive and the need to be smart. Being happy and healthy is all she needs to be.
太懂事的人是不会被珍惜的。大人,小孩都一样
Monday, May 1, 2023
Flirting
Sunday, April 30, 2023
The act
Saturday, April 29, 2023
Part of loving her
Part of loving her is learning to make love to her the way she feel loved,
The way she find pleasure,
The way she likes to be intimate.
When you say she likes something, let it be confirmed by her and not just assumed by your ignorance and ego
Intimate moments need to be communicated to feel love.