Can time make you forget hatred?

No. Time will not make you forget hatred but it may reduce hatred. 

Emotions evolved for a reason. They are mental shortcuts that, in general, move us toward things that are good for us (e.g., caring relationships, pleasurable experiences) and away from things that are bad for us (e.g., mistreatment by others, rattlesnakes). In this sense, negative emotions such as anger, resentment, and hatred are not inherently bad. 

Indeed, they are often useful. If they were not, we would not have evolved to experience them! Hate can motivate us to avoid or defeat others who could threaten our well-being or that of our family or tribe.

If you keep reminding yourself of hatred towards a person, is your self defense way to avoid once again being hurt or threaten by this person or having yourself be in a situation that is similar. Evolution and natural selection are about the survival of the fittest, not loving our enemies.

Ppl often forsee hatred as a bad emotions or being upset, crying, angry as bad emotions. However, all these emotions are messages and communication to others and to self. If you often feel upset being around this person or angry being around this person, then it obvious this person has threatened ur mental wellbeing and the decision is to leave. And if you see no change in how the person react to your feelings then why care what the person thinks about you? There is no reciprocal feelings. Just tell yourself this person who doesnt cherish your existence. So just go along with your life. Either ignore or fight back to make yourself feel better. 

Today my daughter came to me with an upset face. I hug her and ask what happen? Who bully you? She say she saw a kor kor damaging plants and she went to say him. Explaining to this kor kor why plants are good and that he shouldnt pluck the plants damaging them. This kor kor obviously didnt want to listen to her and say nasty things to her. While she say, tears fall from her face. 

I told her to ignore him and his words. Distract her and ask her to go find her milo. She walk over to find her milo, distracted by the kor kor and come back again with an upset face. Kor kor keep telling her plants are useless etc etc. I told my daughter. Come let's go together and take ur milo. My daughter refuse to move seeing the kor kor still there. 

I can see kor kor pointing fingers towards my direction and saying things to his dad. His dad just say let's go home. Keep ushering his son to go home. Trying to avoid conflicts. I went to find my daughter milo and returned back. I told my daughter this. You know plants are good and that's enough. You dont need ppl to agree with you. If kor kor thinks plants are not good then not good lo. If kor kor keep damaging the plants he will one day be scolded or caught by police. And if you dont like his actions, either you leave and refuse to play with him tell him you damage plants and i dont want play with you or you just say him back if you cant ignore. 

She say kor kor challenge him what plants are good for? She say plants are food. Kor kor say These plants cannot eat. Plants are useless so he can damage plant. She obviously cant challenge back. 

I told her mummy teach you. These plants may not be eaten but plants give oxygen. And unless kor kor can dont breathe he will need these plant. Tell kor kor not to breath and not to eat veg lo if he is so smart. 

Why you need to cry and be scare of kor kor? Kor kor naughty by damaging the plants not you damage the plants. If he dont want to listen also got nth to do with you. He stupid and naughty eventually someone will teach him a harsh lesson. U not naughty can already. Kor kor nv learn before plants are good. You smart and you know you learn before. U tell him and he dont care then ignore lo. U know is enough right? 

After talking about all this, she seems to have enlighten and say ya. Kor kor stupid and started to repeat what I say. 

Moral of the story, if you cant fight a battle that's because your experience and knowledge is not enough. When your experience and knowledge is enough, you would have realize what you thought is your opponent isnt even at the same level to be your opponent. Not enough to worth your time and effort. Because you learned. If you care but the person doesnt then just withdraw and avoid trying to make a connection with this person. There is no need to force yourself in order to blend in with others. 

If you can find someone on same level to grow together that's bonus. If you cant, you are also strong on your own. When you start being stronger, your options start to be wider. Even if you want to use what you learned to offer guidance to help someone, make sure the person is worthy of ur help. A person who refuse to grow isnt worth ur time, effort or emotions. Instead of being the picked person, grow yourself to be the picker. 

Today I cry again

Today I cry again and why did I cry again?

Because of a topic about my grandfather. My impression of my grandfather was bad. My mum told me he chase my grandmother out of the house with a knife causing my grandmother having to stay at her children's house interchangeably. She was without a place to call home at the age of 50s or 60s. My grandfather has a xiao san and my grandfather stayed with that xiao san. 

My bf told me no matter what, I have to thank my grandfather cause after his death, my grandmother has a place to stay. My heart was boiling with anger and I was reminded on how my grandfather came back for my grandmother only because he got cancer and his xiao san left him. My grandmother was kind and took care of him before he passed. 

Despite my grandfather being bad to her, she was devasted when he passed. First time I ever saw my grandmother cried. And is not just cried. She was sobbing and whenever people ask her about my grandfather at that time she would say my grandfather passed at peace. I can see her trying to hold back her tears. But it always fall uncontrollably and silently while she talked on the phone. 

From then on, I only know one thing, my grandfather has died causing misery to my grandmother and I will nv forgive him for it. He has not repented neither did he ever make up to her before he passed and he owed it to my grandmother in this life. I may not believe in afterlife but everytime I pray to him, dont care whether he heard a not. I make sure he know my hatred towards him and I always tell him that he has to protect my grandmother because he owed it to her. 

Dont tell me life is better because of those nasty people that appear in our life. They make us grow etc. That is bullshit. Growing up is a choice and a learning process. Without them I will still grow and learn and life will still be perfect because I am who I am. 

And I do not like to let things like this pass. Because is a reminder of how and why we shouldnt be kind towards ppl who are nasty and we shouldnt spoil ppl who take us for granted without appreciation and contentment. Love is not supposed to be given with condition but to be given generously. And is people like them who make society lost the meaning of what love is and how love is supposed to be.