Because of a topic about my grandfather. My impression of my grandfather was bad. My mum told me he chase my grandmother out of the house with a knife causing my grandmother having to stay at her children's house interchangeably. She was without a place to call home at the age of 50s or 60s. My grandfather has a xiao san and my grandfather stayed with that xiao san.
My bf told me no matter what, I have to thank my grandfather cause after his death, my grandmother has a place to stay. My heart was boiling with anger and I was reminded on how my grandfather came back for my grandmother only because he got cancer and his xiao san left him. My grandmother was kind and took care of him before he passed.
Despite my grandfather being bad to her, she was devasted when he passed. First time I ever saw my grandmother cried. And is not just cried. She was sobbing and whenever people ask her about my grandfather at that time she would say my grandfather passed at peace. I can see her trying to hold back her tears. But it always fall uncontrollably and silently while she talked on the phone.
From then on, I only know one thing, my grandfather has died causing misery to my grandmother and I will nv forgive him for it. He has not repented neither did he ever make up to her before he passed and he owed it to my grandmother in this life. I may not believe in afterlife but everytime I pray to him, dont care whether he heard a not. I make sure he know my hatred towards him and I always tell him that he has to protect my grandmother because he owed it to her.
Dont tell me life is better because of those nasty people that appear in our life. They make us grow etc. That is bullshit. Growing up is a choice and a learning process. Without them I will still grow and learn and life will still be perfect because I am who I am.
And I do not like to let things like this pass. Because is a reminder of how and why we shouldnt be kind towards ppl who are nasty and we shouldnt spoil ppl who take us for granted without appreciation and contentment. Love is not supposed to be given with condition but to be given generously. And is people like them who make society lost the meaning of what love is and how love is supposed to be.
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