门当户对

Being with a person with same family background is important. Because family background is what shaped your values and principles in life.

Which is also what they say 三观合不合. If both of your have different perspective there is only 2 outcomes. One is compromising another is understanding and acceptance. Of course understanding and being able to accept is a better outcome. But how many people can really understand and accept your differences when they grow up differently? Compromising is the easier way out but is also the hardest to maintain long term.

How long can you compromise on the same difference repeatedly? When a person compromise, the person compromising will have the sacrificing mentality. This creates an imbalance. When imbalance happens, the person will find a stronger aspect of the partner to compensate for this imbalance to maintain balance. If the partner does not have any stronger aspect then it will trigger 2 concerns. Self worth and goals. 

If your goals are different from what you have,

Either you feel your partner is not worthy for you and you take a different path, divorce and leave to pursue your different goals. But there are still need consequences and responsibility that comes especially when you have a kid together.

Or you lower your expectations and stick on to initial path. Diminishing your self worth, giving up on your goals with the mindset of it doesn't matter which partner I stay with. Because you just need someone to accompany the life path of marriage, having kids, work till retirement etc.

The thing about lower your expectations and diminishing your self worth is you lose yourself in the process. You follow a path whereby everyone takes and it makes you close minded whereby you couldn't see the wonders that life can provide and it can be quite demoralizing, no motivation, no direction. Not to mention negativity, stressed and depressing.

One thing I learn from past marriage is a person really has to consider the practical points of long term marriage. Are your goals aligned? Eg being together till old, raising responsible kids, where to retire etc. What are your partner's weakness or what do you hate about your partner, amplify that and ask yourself if you can accept or you are compromising? 

If you cannot accept then I suggest to let go because love cannot overcome everything. People may say communication is important but I will say differently. You can communicate your hardships all you want but the partner will not understand you. Prolonged misunderstanding will result in impatience, unreasonable attitudes and behaviors. More quarrels. And end of the day you will still come to a crossroad to make a decision to stick on with your choice or change path and this can happen repeatedly throughout every single time when you quarrel about the same difference until you really accept your decision/fate or become emotionally drained. 

For now is only one difference. But there could be more. Unless one can understand/empathize and totally accept the difference in background, experiences and the decisions made based on those. 

Empathizing is difficult if you nv been in the same situation and personality differences also plays very important role in empathizing. There must be similarities in personality and interest. Optimistic vs pessimistic. The level of self esteem etc. Adaptability to accept chances.