Had a good time today spending time with my cousins. Even though I was working we still enjoyed together going to cat cafe, playing board games eat dessert, hotpot etc.
Cant sleep so I started analyzing about work. Going to have a 1-1 meeting with my cfo. Last year I only talk about personal stuff cause I am still new. This year I wanted to talk more about work related. I realize my cfo wasnt the one interview me. So I think she doesnt know much about me. So thinking I could share about work experience first. Then ask about her feedback
Most of the time feedback is from my boss. I am not very sure how the communication is done in between. So it is best to reduce expectation gap. Also to feedback what I have about the company. Lack of clear roles and responsibility. Lack of accountability and individual department data accuracy. Lack of scope definition between accounting and analysis team. Always taichi around.
Then is analyzing relationship. Communication break down has always been an annoying issue. Is never about the small gritty things that are annoying. Is always thing way beyond that that people dont think and ask themselves. Self reflect about what we are saying and talking. Why are we angry at certain things, how do we prevent from being angry about it?
Most of the time anger comes from unappreciation. But whenever we speak, it always started out from complain instead of saying what we actually need. We are use to complaining without understanding the cause of those complain. Why do we complain? Why are we angry? Is it really because of the person is late or because of unappreciation?
I used to be angry whenever my friends are late. Even if she make me wait 5 min. This is due to my mum. Easily angered whenever I am late. Whole day she will be nagging and angry and causes the entire mood for that day to be gone. I hated that. I rmb having this enlightenment sometime back when I ask Dor if principles are important? This enlightenment also comes from my cousin's suicide which I feel I didnt spend enough time connecting with him before he passed.
Because of that I actually learn to cherish time more with ppl around me. I rmb being angry at dor always when she uses her phone when with me or uses her laptop or continue to work when with me. Now I no longer get angry with that. Because I appreciate her spending time. As we grow older we really have more responsibility and time run short each sec. If she is setting time aside to spend time with you shows your importance and that is what matters.
Sometimes it is important to prioritize things in life. Like time, money, principles etc. Nitty gritty things dont matter when you die. Of course we choose the person we want to spend time with. Happy optimistic ppl and we always have to self reflect on ourselves. We want to be with happy optimistic ppl, others will also only want to spend time with u if you are happy and optimistic. The less we complains about each other and the less despise about each other, the less arguement and quarrels there are, the more care, concern, happiness and optimistic we get.
Growing together is easier said than done. Because we have to keep influencing, helping, understanding and encouraging each other. Is keeping arguments less competitive between each other, nv giving up communication even when it is hard, prioritizing if your anger is important compared to your goals and more collaboration, tolerance and patience to help keep emotions stable in order to have more effective communication.
Timing holds a very critical role in effective communication. Because when a person is angry, upset etc, emotions are uptight. It means it is not a good time to do explanation or complaints. Is always a good time to just listen, give in and agree. When the person is more calm then can restart discussion about complaints and explanation. Follow by needs and solutions.
It is easy for us to influence by bad emotions and bad mood and is harder to stay calm and stable when bad emotions and bad mood surface. Happy mood on the other hand is not that easier to be influence and have to start with self hypnosis and self mindset adjustment. Happiness comes from self which you cant expect it from others. But you can always avoid giving ppl bad emotions and bad moods. You cant control others but you can always change own mindset and control self.
Emotional stable is never about how you can dont get angry, upset etc at people. Because we are all human and human have emotions. It is a part of us and in our genes and dna. Every living things has emotions. Emotional stable is when we are intelligent and we know how to manage these emotions and not make rash decisions with these emotions. Is about reducing time being controlled by these emotions and knowing how to calm down quickly with a clear mind to analyze and resolves issues.
Like the saying goes, no point crying over spilled milk. No point keep harping on something that has already happen. Instead of complaining and controlling what others did, think what can be done because you can only control yourself.
