Thank you

I came to a realisation that the loss of you may be the main reason for my sudden enlighten  to see the true colors of my previous marriage. The loss of you gave me clarity. It also shifted my perspective, opening my eyes to parts of my own life I am ignoring or tolerating.

The loss allows me to feel empathy. Allows me to feel self love and self compassion. Allows to listen to myself and my own feelings. Allows to me take a step back and stop rushing into forcing myself to reach goals. Allows me to reconsider my choice and to rethink if it is what I wanted. 

The loss of you opened my eyes to my own boundaries, needs, and the reality of my marriage. Although that awareness is painful, but it’s also a gift.

And so Im grateful and thank you. I hope you are at peace now with your mind and heart. I also hope we will meet once again as a family.

Chinese new year is coming. It is supposed to be a happy occasion but it becomes a less happy occasion now because of you. Every cny you will always be there. But Im glad that I can always picture you smiling and happy. Always winning during gambling and treating mcdonalds with your winnings. Im glad that whenever I picture you, it always happy, cheerful and positive. 

I hope you are happy, cheerful, smiley like how I picture you and I hope death have removed all your pains and worries.