I cant save my hamsters

Up til now, I don tink my hamster died a peaceful death.. They die by illness, injuries and accident.. And all I could do is to stand there and watch them suffer.. Like my fav one, mommy ham ham with her infected eye.. lost her sight for a while.. suffering even after a surgery.. and nth tat i could do to save her.. Sometimes I wonder if we keep her better in better bedding and better condition she wont have it.. Everytime it just come to someting call money.. which means mi frustrated.. If cannot keep a pet in good condition then don keep one.. Father died because of a fight and he too suffered from his injured leg.. I wonder it is fracture or what.. But he is strong.. and still he die suffering with nth I can help to save.. Then there is female kid escape from the cage.. and accidents here and there choke to dealth by the house opening, squash and babies born not even lived a day..
however, one die last sunday.. even gender is unsure but i guess its male.. and died with mi around.. and its my fault.. He was fighting with another one or bully and beaten.. his squeak and shout but I took no notice and pay no attention til it was too late.. If i went to take a glance, just one glance, he wont be suffering till death and wont even die.. I will be able to save him.. But I didnt and it too late and I wasnt be able to help him after tat.. oly able to watch him suffer.. his face covered with red blood and blood and cuts on his back.. and his limping and not being able to move much.. couching himself together.. But he is still breathing.. I tot he may be able to survive cause they recover fast.. but I tink the injuries are too serious for him and I don even doe wat to do for his bleeding wounds.. I cant help at all to make him better.. and I wasnt even given the chance to nurse him back to health although not sure how, I was planning to stand by his side and protect him.. but he died before tat..
So now I just hope tat one of them get her eyes recover totally.. and the rest died peacefully and without accident or illness.. All those who died from accidents and illnesss and none tat I can save.. Tis will be in memory of them every single one.. never forgotten..