Busybody

Busybody acts up again. Asking ppl to return his luggage that he originally say he didnt want. Said he bought new ones. Then start complaining about where I bring Ashley out. Say my time with Ashley cant stay at his house. Blah blah blah. I say u nth better to do, go talk to lawyers. Dont keep finding trouble with me. 

Was complaining to J also about this. He tried to cheer me up in the morning. So annoyed with this kind of ppl. Nice to me I can be nice to u. But find trouble and being nasty to me, im not a weak kitty also. Got ability go earn more money. Dont use this kind of petty stupid things to make yourself feel better. Such stupidity. Some ppl nv grow up. Childishness can be engrave in the bones. 

什么最重要

什么最重要呢？

永远支持你 不管你做什么 

吵架时愿意明白理解你 从不干扰自由

愿意妥协你 愿意听你诉苦

愿意接受你的一切

不管你怎么无理取闹 都愿意陪你

不管你怎么诉苦 都会站你这边

先顾及你的感受 后跟你说对错

愿意记得你说的一切 不重复犯错

愿意了解并记得你的喜好习惯

总会有人

总会有人看你比自己更重要

对的人 总是会迟到

就当作命运开的玩笑

不是你的就别再勉强

是你的想跑也跑不掉

总会有人 把你看得比自己更重要

会有人 发现你身上所有的好

总会有人 拥抱你微笑背后的伤

让你觉得世界不算糟

总会有人 放弃所有也不把你丢掉

会有人 在你身边就引以为豪

总会有人 想借你的肩膀来依靠

让你觉得自己也会被人需要

Cant sleep

Recently cant sleep again. Super annoyed. Had a little quarrel. Sometimes I think to myself if I am asking too much or I am just too tired. I know nobody is perfect. But sometimes I just ask myself. Why am I tolerating all these when I can be free at my own house. No need to care what I buy. No need to ask someone for permission when I buying something. Can have all the inconvenience I want in my house. Or worse when someone just say no without explaining. I'm tired of asking and needing to push someone for a reason for why no. 

Why no? just no. Why just no? Im annoyed. is it that difficult to explain? Is it that difficult to coax? Maybe I just need some time myself to unwind. Annoyed needing to entertain an aunty who is totally unrelated to me. Expecting and expecting stupid things from me. Hello. Im just a normal girl. dont have ridiculous expectations of me. Im not your daughter in law. I really pity the person who become your daughter in law must be damn unlucky to have you as mother in law. yea right. Im staying at your place but still is for the sake for your child. Actually I can hack care that much right? Since my feelings doesn't matter. 

The only thing I am staying here for is to have more time together. But since it doesn't seem to matter that Im upset or angry then what for I actually care if we have more time together? I dont even know what I am angry about now. Is it the fact that I am staying with inconvenience? Tolerating? or it is that my feelings wont cared for? Or maybe is all. Let's deal with it one at a time. Staying with inconvenience and tolerating, easy to solve. Feelings not cared for requires communication. Let's see how we can communicate. 

Splurging

These few days been splurging again. Looks like I have to cut my travel budget in this way else I will not be able to reach my saving goals from the way I spend money. With hormones changes, cravings too. 

In future when Im moving to new office expenses on food will probably increase. Though it isn't much cheaper at great world also. Average meals a day is about $6-7. Dinner will be more expensive. Hmm got time need to double check how much do I actually spend on food. 

Today my boss was saying about black filling are already Mercury which means I ate small amount of mercury everyday. Got to remove and change. Looks like I have to research more on it. Everyday now Im looking at how to renovate all new house in the future. 

In the past I often think about getting bigger house. The bigger the house the better. Was considering a 3 room flat. Nowadays I am reconsidering this concept. Maybe it is good I just get a smaller house and build up my saving for retirement. Just buy from hdb bto then to pay extra to overhyped flat prices and loans.

Then I get target to aim for the brs as well. Earn more interest from govt with higher interest in cpf. Or should I target from rental. I wonder which is more worth planning. When I have time I should plan and see. 

心情不好

 这两天心情不好。两个受伤的人可能会有结果吗？过去有这么容易放下吗？一个人需要多久去了解呢？有时我在想是要求太高还是不适合的太多。为什么人总是可以说一套做一套呢？心里明明就不信任却要当好人去隐瞒结果闹的大家都不愉快。

在利益面前说感情是不是有点可笑？然后又要在感情面前说现实。有时我都觉得很可笑。有的人就是很奇怪在有利面前，就说感情。而在无利面前，就说现实。人都是自私的嘛。又要求对方爱你又害怕受伤害又计较又不愿付出。而我最不喜欢的就是这样。如果只希望一方面的付出那就不要谈恋爱。

有时候真的不可以有期待。因为期待越大失望就会变得越多。而有的人就是喜欢为了利益说一堆无心的话。现实往往让我往后站一些。看清了在说话。我喜欢听好听的话更喜欢看到实际的行动。而我不喜欢听影响我心情难听的话。而有的话要来自心才有诚意而这些心里话不说出口就完全没有意义。

我不喜欢口是心非的话也不喜欢难听贬低人的话。我还是喜欢有本事却很谦虚的人。我不会说自己有多好只求真心能遇真心而诚意能被珍惜。人最怕的就是在还没有尝试之前就被自己的恐惧害死。而在自己没有勇气里面愿天愿地唯独不愿自己。更在口是心非里面自我感动感觉良好

2024

Just realize that I didnt write anything for the entire month of Dec. It just prove that Dec has always been a very busy month. Full of celebrations. 

2023 has been a very eventful year for me. 2 of my friends got married in this year. Im happy that they found a partner that they have faith to live their entire life with. Someone that gives them confident to live life together.